Here I am sitting at my desk, just wondering when I grew up so fast. Growing up is a strange thing, it happens daily, in a manner that is unnoticeable. However, there are those moments in life when BAM you realise you're not a child anymore. 
 I'm nineteen years old, which in many cases is still young. I'm classed as an adult, yet I still feel like a child in so many ways. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't see an adult. I still see that little girl who wanted so much from life, who wanted to go on adventures, see the world and rule it with an iron fist. I was always older in my ways, and always wanted to be that one step ahead. I wanted to be a respectable grown up.  Now that I'm an adult, I don't want to grow up anymore.
There are so many things in life, that when you're young seem like the most amazing adventure. I am about to embark on one of those adventures of life. As of one week today, I am moving out. Flying the nest. It's something that you look forward to for so many years. But the reality of it is, when you have that date set, you feel a lot different to how you expected. This is a great leap into true adulthood, one of the biggest steps in life, and yet I feel myself regressing to a child. As I sit here typing this, I am surrounded by my half packed office. My bookshelves are staring at me, naked, the books that have sat on those shelves for many years now are neatly packed in boxes, labelled and ready to go to their new home. I feel just as empty as those bookshelves.  It's only now that I've started to pack up my belongings that it's finally hit me, this is probably the last week I will ever live at home with my mother. It's surprising how heavy reality is on your heart, it creates that little ball in your throat that makes it hard to swallow. I am going to miss it here. There are so many memories. This is my home. I'll miss the house, of course, my purple bedroom, bright pink office, the way the key jams in the front door and the way it smells when you walk in from a long day. Most of all, I'll miss my Mum. 
My mum is not only my parent, but also my best friend, and I am going to miss living with her so much more than I ever imagined. I'm going to miss every little thing about her. The closesr the day comes to moving out, the more and more appreciation I develop for my mother. Those little things she does for me have become more apparent, and I have never been so grateful to be able to call her my Mum. I've never sat and thought about just how much she has done for me all of these years, not just the big things, but those little tasks that are so easily overlooked. If it wasn't for my Mum, I would not be who I am today. She has always taught me to chase after my dreams and to be ambitious. She has given me that little nudge I needed at times, to push me into success. It is a sad thing to be moving away, and I keep having to remind myself that this is a normal part of life, however bizarre it appears to be at the moment. 
The sadness and excitement of moving out are equal, although that may not seem apparent at this moment in time. I honestly cannot wait to build my new home with my boyfriend, Rhydian, and start  our life together. There are so many firsts to be experienced, and new memories to create. I truly am excited to see what our future holds.
Although I won't be living with my mother anymore, I know she is only a phone call away, and the chances are that we will actually spend more quality time together than we have living together. We'll make time for one another, and appreciate it so much more. As I continue to grow up and face new obstacles in life, I  know that she will still be there holding my hand.

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